Am I Giving My Child Too Many Gifts?

Many children receive too many gifts, as a way to compensate for the fact that the parents’ busy lives give them too little time to be with their children. Try and have more quality time with your children, instead of spoiling them.

As parents, we can sometimes think that a new toy can replace time we could have spent with our child. However, if this is something that happens regularly, it can result in a spoiled child. Keep reading to learn about how to avoid giving your child too many gifts, as well as the consequences that can come with it.

Too many gifts versus quality time together

The love you have for your child is naturally very high. It can sometimes make us think that they deserve all the toys in the world. The best gift you can give your child, however, is to give it more of your time and attention.

If you are very busy so you do not have much time to spare for your child, then it is more likely that your child will be spoiled. The most common way to see if your child is spoiled and has received too many gifts is to always ask for a new gift when you go shopping.

Does this sound like you? Are you spoiling your child?

Pampered children are nothing new. Nevertheless, it has become more and more common in the last century. Even if you are very busy, it is best to be organized and set aside time to be with your children. This is the best way to avoid raising a child to be pampered, but instead raise them in a good way.

What does the word “spoiled” really mean?

Is your child spoiled and has had too many toys?

“Pampering” refers to showering the child. It is characterized by exaggerating how much you give it of toys and gifts, and that something is given too often. Pampered children discover at an early age that it can get everything they want. They learn to manipulate their parents so that they get what they want.

A spoiled child can also be a sign that there is too little quality time with the parents. Believe it or not, most children would rather spend more time with their parents than get a new gift or toy. As a rule, it is easy to see spoiled children complaining all the time.

Now, however, there is nothing to worry about. You can easily repair this by setting rules or goals that must be achieved to receive gifts. For example, it may be that the child can get a new toy if it does well in school.

How can I know if my child is receiving too many gifts and is spoiled?

While a common sign of a spoiled child is an excessive demand for new gifts or toys, there are other signs as well, it includes:

Low tolerance or a lot of frustration
Bad imagination
Excessively fussy or messy
Your child is materialistic, or throws a lot
Selfish

It is clear that children often follow others, whether it is a classmate or another friend. If a classmate or friend receives a new gift, it is very likely that your child will want the same.

To deal with such a situation, it is best to explain that each family is different. This means that they are also different when it comes to giving gifts.

The consequence of having too many gifts and toys

Being pampered can have consequences for your child. It can also affect those around them. Some of these consequences can be:

Unnecessary financial expenses
Isolation from the parents
Difficulties with self-expression, both in the short and long term
Possible development of personality disorders
Intolerance and frustration
Little or no understanding of the value of other people or things

What can parents do to change the fact that they give too many gifts?

Spend more quality time with your child

Our job as parents is to help the child learn and grow up in a healthy environment. That is why it is important to spend time with your child every day. Use the time to do different activities, play games or the same. This will help your child understand that the best gift is quality time with other people. Another good idea is to surprise the child by taking it out to his or her favorite place to eat, or to a park.

Teach your child about the importance of values

The best way for a child to see the value of a gift is if you help them understand how you were able to buy it. Once they understand that you have to work to be able to afford to buy it, and that all toys cost something, they will start looking at gifts in a new way. It will not only encourage them to find a job as they get older, but it will also help them to become more mature.

Teach them the rule of four

Another tip is to use the rule of four when it comes to giving gifts. Then you give gifts based on the following four categories:

Something you can dress up or take with you

A book
Something they really want
Something they really need

For example, it could be a scooter they can take with them. A new book in their favorite genre. Markers that they need to draw with, or for a project. Or it could be something that the child has been asking for for months. This will also make the amount of gifts the child has not pile up, and which they no longer play with, just a few weeks after receiving them.

Help them play without toys

A boy playing with an old cardboard box.

The best gift you can give your child is to be there for them. Set aside an hour a day to do something together. It can help your child not be so spoiled, and it will give you a better family relationship. Once you are really busy, you can invite your child to sit next to you to sing, read, or draw. Such activities can be done without toys. If you need some silence then reading and drawing are good options.

Remember that the best gift is love

As Van Gogh once said, “What is done with love is well done!”

Even if you have a lot of work, make sure that you still set aside time to listen to the child, talk to it, and to play together. This can be a good time for both of you to relax, and to tell each other everything in confidence.

Conclusion

You can avoid raising a child to be pampered by spending more time with him or her. You can do activities together at home, go to the cinema together or go to a park. Even when you are burdened with work, it is important to remember to spend time together every day.

Hopefully this article has helped you to reflect. Start by giving more of your valuable time with your loved ones, rather than giving material things. In order for the child to learn this from you, you must also practice this yourself. Then he / she will learn from your actions.