5 Important Tips To Determine If Your Partner Is Empathetic Enough

Is your partner empathetic enough ? Without sufficient empathy, there is no emotional contact. There is no recognition and no authentic reciprocity in a couple.

Most of us use many psychological terms daily. Therefore, it is the case that someone does not know what empathy is or has not heard of this basic concept in relationships.

But what if we told you that  many people have a distorted or erroneous understanding of this concept ? To begin to feel empathy  with someone does not mean merely to “put yourself in someone else’s shoes”. It is something much more complex and more intimate. It requires actions and behaviors, not just feeling or experiencing the feelings of the other.

After all, in a relationship, it is not enough to just know that your partner is suffering. Feeling empathetic with someone also means knowing how to respond effectively, appropriately and in accordance with a particular need.

So today on our blog we want to give you 5 basic tips to identify  how much empathy there is in your relationship. In addition, we will look at whether it is really helpful to strengthen their bond, their trust, and respond to its other person’s needs.

There are three types of empathy: do you and your partner use all of them?

Let’s move on from general terms to concrete concepts. To understand empathy holistically, we must discover what the main components are and what dynamics characterize them. It is therefore helpful to understand  the three types of empathy that you should start practicing with your  partner on a daily basis.

•  “I feel what you feel.” This means  experiencing the other person’s suffering. It is to notice their happiness, read their worries, put themselves in their position and know what hurts them.
•  “I understand what you’re going through.” This is about not only feeling, but also about  demonstrating authentic understanding of the other person. It is about understanding what something has triggered, and why it has caused this effect.
•  “I know you are suffering. I know why you suffer and I will help you; I want you to feel good. ” In this case, there is  a true desire for your partner to be healthy, happy, calm and satisfied.

2. I feel what you feel, but I do not judge you

Let’s use an example to better understand this idea:

Elena has returned home from work very late. She’s had a bad day and she’s feeling exhausted and close to tears. When Karsten, her partner, sees the expression on her face, he knows that things have not gone well. He feels her anxiety, her discouragement…

However, he decides to judge too quickly, saying: “The problem is that you take it too seriously… Everyone benefits from you. You just do not know how to be confident. ” 

In this case we have a member of the couple who b interferes in emotional empathy, but they are not able to develop the kind of useful, effective compassionate empathy  that relieves and helps the other person.

3. I put myself in your shoes, but without ceasing to be myself

As we mentioned at the beginning of this article, it is not enough to put yourself in other people’s shoes or in their position. We must enter  into a process of projection and sensitivity.  However, we must not stop being ourselves, and we must not lose our personal perspective.

For example, if you see your partner suffering and you do not maintain your strength and your inner balance, it is likely that you will intensify the disorder and not help at all. True empathy, the kind that is helpful, is able to  get into someone else’s heart while keeping your own heart safe.

4. Empathy is also about understanding the mistakes of others

A good, stable couple who is able to grow in a shared project can also  understand and feel empathy  with the mistakes of the other.

• I understand that you failed with the project you had in mind. I know how hard you tried, and I understand how you feel. You were wrong when you decided to trust these people, and maybe I myself would have made the same mistake.

This type of empathy, which is  able to understand that people are not perfect,  and that relationships will not always be simple, is the most useful type. It is this type that  helps the most when it comes to investing in the lives of two people.

5. I am receptive to all your emotions

Some do not dare to cry in front of their partner. They do not express their fears because they want to avoid worrying about them. They do not tell their better half certain things due to fear of how they may react or how they may take it…

We must be clear about something:  as long as fear exists in a relationship, the connection is not authentic, satisfying or healthy. A person should have total and absolute confidence to show everything they feel for their partner in every moment. A couple is the union of  two life partners who can face everything : both the bad moments and the good ones. So, a person who shows sufficient empathy is someone that we can be ourselves with all the time, without being afraid to share any thoughts or feelings.

Think about whether there are any of these that it would be good to improve or strengthen in your relationship.